I know when I die it will be early in the morning. I mean 4:45 early well maybe a bit later. 5:55 am, the sun still sleepy, god hasn’t even had his coffee yet. Nothing is going on unless you are working a night job or up with your new born. More likely than not, if you up at this hour you don’t want to be.
Maybe this is why I hate the morning so much, I mean I know it’s going to be when I die. That makes me want to be safe at home in bed, I think the chances of a crazy horrific death at home in bed are way less likely than anything outside my home.
That’s it, that is why I live like this, staying up late because I am afraid of the death that could come each morning. I have to sleep through the morning to be as safe as I can. So please stop telling me its “nice” to get up early and “get a jump start on the day”. We all know its bull crap to begin with. I for one will say all you morning people are really getting on the rest of our nerves. I didn’t want to be the one to have to tell you but it’s time to give it a rest. We don’t want to change.
Knowing 6 am will be the death of me could give me a chance to get back at all the early risers. Those few freaks that are among us, they rise even before the sun. I mean it’s insane if you think about it! I will have to make the ceremony at 2 am with a 3 am burial. Oh my, what an idea! They just wouldn’t know what to do. You could try to take a nap after work but you won’t get a full night sleep. It will have to be a Tuesday or Wednesday that way the whole week will get thrown off.
Oh how sweet it already feels. I might not be so vengeful in life. But that just means I will have to be in death. That sounds ok right? I mean it is my funeral. It is my last chance to be selfish and really stick it to some people. That is unless I get to be a ghost, but I don’t know enough about ghosts. I can’t put all my faith in that. This is my only solid chance.
I am going to have to write up my will. This is the best idea I have ever had.
it is my mothers birthday today. i have been a pretty horrible son in the last few months so i hope to make it up to her. I bought a nice bottle of wine and i am taking her and my dad out to dinner. i hope that is a nice gesture. i think more than anything she wants to spend time with me. so this should work out nicely.
in other news. my ipod finally shit out on me. and now i have to decide if i want a new one and which to get. bleh.
I need to shower and get dressed to take my mother out.
had a really good night. wiskey + mac and cheese for dinner. saw cloverfield. really nice conversation at the empire after. very good. I do feel a bit lame coming home and blogging about it. haha! but that is what the power of h brings out in everyone. I hope things keep going well. at least in this aspect. It has been a while and i am afraid it shows. But then again maybe i am cooler than i give myself credit for? no… I guess only time will tell. I hope my weak attempts at humor can pull me through until i can stand my ground. more later i guess? later.
ps i hope you enjoy my lack of correct spelling, grammar and all that other shit. cause i sure as hell enjoy not trying!
This weekend was meh. Played pretty good friday. Saturday got my car back. Today plan to lay around the whole day. I ate way to much food but i guess that happens when you smoke, drink and stay up until 5 each night. thats all I got.
It is 2:20 am. I plan to call in sick tomorrow. I have been saying this to myself for over 2 weeks now. I figure the only way I can do it is to stay up late drinking then when I wake up at 7 I will acctually feel bad enough to the point where I wont feel obligated to go to work. I still feel bad. But I do need this? It will be good? What is truely the worst that could happen? I get fired?! oh no!!! psh that would be a good thing I need a reason to get my lazy ass out of there. I just need someone to push me. Everyone seems to have that additude like it is good for me. Is it good for me to work somewhere that I don’t like, doing something I dislike just becuase it is OK money? and becuase it is what is expected of an adult? Meh. nope.
In other news. I am playing three shows tomorrow. One at the Aquarium. All ages with Any Day at like 7:45 ish. and then two at Rascals. one all ages. one 21+ both with What The H?! then I might hit up Madonaroma at the 21+ show at the aquarium. But I might just have people over at my place. I haven’t hung out with minors in a while. It would be refreshing.
I need this weekend to be great. I need something to hit me so hard, so hard, that I can’t get up and look at things the same way. I need to take a step back and really change things. And even though this has been said by thousands before me. I really hope I do not choose to fall into the cracks that all the others fell into and just ignore. I need to be bigger and do something better.
John and I had a great time tonight. Talked about a lot of great things. I love that kid. I really never got to know him before he left for sweeden. I am so glad he is back and he and I are getting a chance to hang out. He is becoming a brother to me. truely wonderful.
Thats all.
Sorry that was random and scattered.
Later!
