I know when I die it will be early in the morning. I mean 4:45 early well maybe a bit later. 5:55 am, the sun still sleepy, god hasn’t even had his coffee yet. Nothing is going on unless you are working a night job or up with your new born. More likely than not, if you up at this hour you don’t want to be.
Maybe this is why I hate the morning so much, I mean I know it’s going to be when I die. That makes me want to be safe at home in bed, I think the chances of a crazy horrific death at home in bed are way less likely than anything outside my home.
That’s it, that is why I live like this, staying up late because I am afraid of the death that could come each morning. I have to sleep through the morning to be as safe as I can. So please stop telling me its “nice” to get up early and “get a jump start on the day”. We all know its bull crap to begin with. I for one will say all you morning people are really getting on the rest of our nerves. I didn’t want to be the one to have to tell you but it’s time to give it a rest. We don’t want to change.
Knowing 6 am will be the death of me could give me a chance to get back at all the early risers. Those few freaks that are among us, they rise even before the sun. I mean it’s insane if you think about it! I will have to make the ceremony at 2 am with a 3 am burial. Oh my, what an idea! They just wouldn’t know what to do. You could try to take a nap after work but you won’t get a full night sleep. It will have to be a Tuesday or Wednesday that way the whole week will get thrown off.
Oh how sweet it already feels. I might not be so vengeful in life. But that just means I will have to be in death. That sounds ok right? I mean it is my funeral. It is my last chance to be selfish and really stick it to some people. That is unless I get to be a ghost, but I don’t know enough about ghosts. I can’t put all my faith in that. This is my only solid chance.
I am going to have to write up my will. This is the best idea I have ever had.
